A little girl was talking to her teacher about
whales. The teacher said it was physically impossible for a whale
to swallow a human because even though it was a very large mammal
its throat was very small. The little girl stated that Jonah was swallowed
by a whale. Irritated, the teacher reiterated that a whale could not
swallow a human; it was physically impossible. The little girl said,
“When I get to heaven I will ask Jonah”. The teacher asked, “What
if Jonah went to hell?” The little girl replied, “Then you ask him”.
A Kindergarten teacher was observing her classroom
of children while they were drawing. “What’s this?” The girl replied,
“I’m drawing God.” The teacher paused and said, “But no one knows
what God looks like.” Without hesitating, or looking up from her drawing,
the girl replied, “They will in a minute.”
A Sunday school teacher was discussing the
Ten Commandments with her five and six year olds. After explaining
the commandment to “honor” thy Father and thy Mother, she asked, “Is
there a commandment that teaches us how to treat our brothers and
sisters?” Without missing a beat one little boy (the oldest of a family)
answered, “Thou shall not kill.”
The children had all been photographed, and
the teacher was trying to persuade them each to buy a copy of the
group picture. “Just think how nice it will be to look at it when
you are all grown up and say, ‘there’s Jennifer, she’s a lawyer,’
or ‘that’s Michael, He’s a doctor.’ “ A small voice at the back of
the room rang out, “And there’s the teacher, she’s dead.”
A teacher was giving a lesson on the circulation
of the blood. Trying to make the matter clearer, she said, “Now, class,
if I stood on my head, the blood, as you know, would run into it,
and I would turn red in the face.” “Yes,” the class said. “Then why
is it that while I am standing upright in the ordinary position the
blood doesn’t run into my feet?” A little fellow shouted, “Cause your
feet ain’t empty.”
The children were lined up in the cafeteria
of a Catholic elementary school for lunch. At the head of the table
was a large pile of apples. The nun made a note, and posted on the
apple tray: “Take only ONE. God is watching.” Moving further along
the lunch line, at the other end of the table was a large pile of
chocolate chip cookies. A child had written a note, “Take all you
want. God is watching the apples.” /...next
joke
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