Researchers recently uncovered the heaviest new element known to science: administratium. Administratium has one neutron, 12 assistant neutrons, 75 deputy neutrons and 111 deputy assistant neutrons, giving it an atomic mass of 312.

These particles are held together by morons, which are surrounded by vast quantities of lepton-like particles called peons.

Since administratium has no electrons, it is inert. However, it can be detected because it impedes every reaction with which it comes into contact. A minute amount of administratium causes a single reaction to take more than four days to complete, when it would normally take less than one second.

Administratium has a normal half-life of three years. It does not decay but, instead, undergoes internal reorganization -- in which a number of the assistant neutrons, deputy neutrons and deputy assistant neutrons exchange places. In fact, administratium's mass will actually increase over time, since each reorganization causes some morons to become neutrons. A rapid increase in administratium's mass can result in the creation of isodopes.

This characteristic of moron promotion leads some scientists to speculate that administratium is formed whenever morons reach a certain quantity in concentration. This hypothetical quantity is referred to as "critical morass". You will know it when you see it.   /...next joke