I'm not offended by all the dumb blonde jokes
because I know I'm not dumb ... and I also know that I'm not blonde.
—Dolly Parton—
You see a lot of smart guys with dumb women,
but you hardly ever see a smart woman with a dumb guy. —Erica Jong—
I want to have children, but my friends scare
me. One of my friends told me she was in labor for 36 hours. I don't
even want to do anything that feels good for 36 hours. —Rita Rudner—
My husband and I are either going to buy a
dog or have a child. We can't decide to ruin our carpet or ruin our
lives. —Rita Rudner—
I've been on so many blind dates, I should
get a free dog. —Wendy Liebman—
Never lend your car to anyone to whom you
have given birth. —Erma Bombeck—
If high heels were so wonderful, men would
still be wearing them.
—Sue Grafton—
I'm not going to vacuum 'til Sears makes one
you can ride on. —Roseanne Barr—
I think-therefore I'm single. —Lizz Winstead—
When women are depressed they either eat or
go shopping. Men invade another country. —Elayne Boosler—
Behind every successful man is a surprised
woman. —Maryon Pearson—
I base most of my fashion taste on what doesn't
itch. —Gilda Radner—
In politics, if you want anything said, ask
a man; if you want anything done, ask a woman. —Margaret Thatcher—
I have yet to hear a man ask for advice on
how to combine marriage and a career. —Gloria Steinhem—
Some of us are becoming the men we wanted
to marry. —Gloria Steinhem—
I never married because there was no need.
I have three pets at home which answer the same purpose as a husband.
I have a dog which growls every morning, a parrot which swears all
afternoon and a cat that comes home late at night. —Marie Corelli—
Nagging is the repetition of unpalatable truths.
—Baroness Edith Summerskill—
If men can run the world, why can't they stop
wearing neckties? How intelligent is it to start the day by tying
a little noose around your neck? —Linda Ellerbee—
I am a marvelous housekeeper. Every time I
leave a man I keep his house. —Zsa Zsa Gabor—/...next
joke
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